Andy Rooney

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody's ever done it.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.