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Łączna ilość: 1750. Aktualnie widzisz pierwsze 100 sztuk

Respect for individual rights is the essential precondition for a free and prosperous world, ... and that only through freedom can peace and prosperity be realized.

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Take Nothing but Pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time.

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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

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A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something right.

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Jeśli możesz przeczytać tę naklejkę na zderzak, jesteś zarówno bardzo dobrze wykształcony, jak i zbyt blisko!

[translation: If you can read this bumper sticker, you are both very well educated and much too close!]

Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaler educatus et nimim propinquus ades!

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For perfect happiness, remember two things: (1) Be content with what you've got. (2) Be sure you've got plenty.

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* Tact, n.: The unsaid part of what you're thinking.

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FREEDOM IS NOT FOR THE TIMID.

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It is not for glory or riches or honours that we fight, but only for liberty, which no good man will consent to lose but with his life." (The Declaration of Arbroath, a reply to the Papal Bulls excommunicating Robert Bruce for recapturing Berwick, as sent to Pope John XXII on behalf of the community of the realm of Scotland, 1320 A.D.)

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Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. -- Arnold's Addendum: Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.

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If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. Corollary: If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

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If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

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It's easier said than done." - ... and if you don't believe it, try proving that it's easier done than said, and you'll see that "it's easier said that `it's easier done than said' than it is done", which really proves that "it's easier said than done".

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In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

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186,282 miles per second: It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!

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Aby cokolwiek odkryć, musisz czegoś szukać.

In order to discover anything, you must be looking for something.

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Chemicals, n.: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.

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Ile mistrzów Zen potrzeba, by przykręcić żarówkę? Żadnego. Wszechświat kręci żarówką, a mistrz Zen usuwa się na bok.

How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The Universe spines the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way.

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In an organization, each person rises to the level of his own incompetency

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President Thieu says he'll quit if he doesn't get more than 50% of the vote. In a democracy, that's not called quitting.

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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

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How do you explain school to a higher intelligence? - Elliot

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In the land of the dark, the Ship of the Sun is driven by the Grateful Dead.

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Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists. Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the organization.

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Maier's Law: If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of. 1. The bigger the theory, the better. 2. The experiment may be considered a success if no more than 50% of the observed measurements must be discarded to obtain a correspondence with the theory.

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The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.

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Czujesz się pozbawiony iluzji? Mam dla ciebie kilka nowych, wspaniałych iluzji

Feel disillusioned? I've got some great new illusions ...

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To, że nie jesteś paranoikiem nie znaczy, że "tamci" na ciebie nie czyhają.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.

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Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.

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Why did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless it was to avoid responsibility with?

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If mathematically you end up with the wrong answer, try multiplying by the page number.

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Surprise due today. Also the rent.

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Silverman's Law: If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.

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Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier.

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In case of injury notify your superior immediately. He'll kiss it and make it better.

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Your analyst has you mixed up with another patient. Don't believe a thing he tells you.

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The National Short-Sleeved Shirt Association says: Support your right to bare arms!

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Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say "Honk if ..."

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Famous last words: 1. Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix. 2. Let's take the shortcut, he can't see us from there. 3. What happens if you touch these two wires tog 4. We won't need reservations. 5. It's always sunny there this time of the year. 6. Don't worry, it's not loaded. 7. They'd never (be stupid enough to) make him a manager.

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Without ice cream life and fame are meaningless.

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Be free and open and breezy! Enjoy! Things won't get any better so get used to it.

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Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

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Speak softly and carry a +6 two-handed sword.

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The C Programming Language -- A language which combines the flexibility of assembly language with the power of assembly language.

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Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you.

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Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.

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Is it possible that software is not like anything else, that it is meant to be discarded: that the whole point is to always see it as a soap bubble?

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Everyone can be taught to sculpt: Michelangelo would have had to be taught how not to. So it is with the great programmers.

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The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching train.

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A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?

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LEO (July 23 - Aug 22) Your determination and sense of humor will come to the fore. Your ability to laugh at adversity will be a blessing because you've got a day coming you wouldn't believe. As a matter of fact, if you can laugh at what happens to you today, you've got a sick sense of humor.

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The revolution will not be televised.

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No problem is so large it can't be fit in somewhere.

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Elevators smell different to midgets

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Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.

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Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only specification is that it should run noiselessly.

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Basic, n.: A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that those who have it will not admit it in polite company.

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The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.

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Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.

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Jones's First Law: Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field ofendeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an obstruction to its progress -- in direct proportion to the importance of their original contribution.

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The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.

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Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?

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Laetrile is the pits

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You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.

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User n.: A programmer who will believe anything you tell him.

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They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!

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Piąta zasada: wziąłeś siebie zbyt poważnie

The Fifth Rule: You have taken yourself too seriously.

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The pyramid is opening!" "Which one?" "The one with the ever-widening hole in it!" Firesign Theater, "How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At All

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Things will be bright in P.M. A cop will shine a light in your face.

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Succumb to natural tendencies. Be hateful and boring.

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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.

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Isn't it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously?

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You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of trash.

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Scott's first Law: No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right.

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Beware of low-flying butterflies.

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Fifth Law of Procrastination: Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling thatthere is nothing important to do.

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All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

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You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.

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On-line, adj.: The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.

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Screw up your courage! You've screwed up everything else.

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Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.

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The best defense against logic is ignorance.

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Tonight's the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.

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Greener's Law: Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.

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Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum.

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If God had not given us sticky tape, it would have been necessary to invent it.

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God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh

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Alexander Graham Bell is alive and well in New York, and still waiting for a dial tone.

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Eisenhower was very nice, Nixon was his only vice. C. Degen

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You're never too old to become younger. Mae West

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Ken Thompson has an automobile which he helped design. Unlike most automobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas gage, nor any of the numerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver. Rather, if the driver makes any mistake, a giant "?" lights up in the center of the dashboard. "The experienced driver", he says, "will usually know what's wrong."

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F u cn rd ths u cnt spl wrth a dm!

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Cleveland? Yes, I spent a week there one day.

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I must have slipped a disk -- my pack hurts

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NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION

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Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom: Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.

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Any woman is a volume if one knows how to read her.

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Adolescence, n.: The stage between puberty and adultery.

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Monday is an awful way to spend one seventh of your life.

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