Erma Bombeck

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

Nie uczestniczę w żadnym sporcie z ambulansami czekającymi na dole wzgórza.

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.

Motherhood is the biggest on-the-job training scheme in the world.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Szybko zbliżamy się do punktu, w którym nie chcę wybierać nikogo na tyle głupiego, by chciał tej pracy.

It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.

If a man watches three football games in a row he should be declared legally dead.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.