George Burns

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy ~ than be a success at something I hate.

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left. - at age 90, in 1986

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Say good night, Gracie.

I get a standing ovation jaust standing.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out -- and you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.