Mark Twain

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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia:

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia:

Next to possessing genius one's self is the power of appreciating it in others.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia:

It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates; they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions; they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.

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Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.

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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia:

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

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In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia: 6

The government is merely a servant

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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.--

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia:

A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia:

In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia:

When in doubt, tell the truth.

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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

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I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

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They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

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She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.

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Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

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Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.

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There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

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Make a point to do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

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Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.

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Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/01/17/put-off/

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A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia:

Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia:

The secret source of humour itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.

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The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.

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Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out.

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In his private heart no man much respects himself.

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It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so.

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The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monotonously.

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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

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Virtue has never been as respectable as money.

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When angry count four; when very angry swear.

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It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them

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Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

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Better to remain silent and thought to be a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

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I have never let my schooling interefere with my education.

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Everything has its limit--iron ore cannot be educated into gold.

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Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.

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It were not best that we should all think alike; it is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.

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I have a prejudice against people who print things in a foreign language and add no translation. When I am the reader, and the other considers me able to do the translating myself, he pays me the quite a nice compliment-- but if he would do the translating for me I would try to get along without the compliment.

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There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.

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Reports of my debt are greatly exaggerated

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Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

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When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like and do what you'd druther not.

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The difference between truth and fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

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Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

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Necessity is the mother of taking chances.

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A Banker: the person who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it rains.

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Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.

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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.

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Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

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We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again---and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.

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An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

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Be good and you will be lonesome.

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Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.

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Cywilizacja to nieograniczone zwielokrotnienie zbędnych potrzeb.

Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia: 7

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death!

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear.

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Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

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Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. - Notebook, 1898

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Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.

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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

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The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

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Few sinners are saved after the fiirst twenty minutes of a sermon.

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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.

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Golf is a good walk spoiled.

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Habit is habit and not to be flung out the window by any man but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

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His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.

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I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.

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I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.

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Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure defense.

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It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have these three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

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It is easier to stay out than to get out.

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It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others--and less trouble. -

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It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.

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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics.

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Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.

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Let us endeavor to live, so that when we die, even the undertaker will be sorry.

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A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.

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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

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Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

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Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia:

Some people get an eduction without going to college; the rest get it after they get out.

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Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.

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There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.

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Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience of 4000 critics.

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There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!

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The trouble isn't that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn't distributed right.

Mark Twain · Karta sentencji Zobacz Głębia:

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

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The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

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